Introduction:
Bonnie Lane, a seasoned professional with over two decades of experience in mental health counseling and family support, joined CATCH to discuss how parents can create a game plan for their college-bound children, particularly those struggling with mental health issues. The Lunch and Learn presentation focused on preparing parents and students for the transition to college, emphasizing the importance of communication, community, and teamwork.
Key Themes:
- Communication:
- Bonnie stressed the importance of having open and honest conversations with your child before they leave for college. These discussions should cover their readiness to access mental health resources, their ability to manage independence, and their comfort level with the supports they’ve had in high school.
- Parents should ensure that their child is prepared to advocate for themselves and access resources like accommodations, tutoring, and mental health services independently.
- Community:
- Building a support network is crucial. Bonnie recommended that parents ensure their child has access to mental health professionals, either through the college or local community providers. She advised against relying solely on university counseling services, which often have long wait times and may involve rotating interns.
- Parents should also establish relationships with key individuals at the college, such as the accommodations department, resident advisors (RAs), and academic advisors. Signing releases of information allows parents to stay informed if their child struggles academically or emotionally.
- Teamwork:
- Bonnie emphasized that parents should no longer be the “team leader” for their child’s academic and social life. Instead, the student should take the lead, with parents providing support from the sidelines.
- Parents should help their child develop life skills, such as managing laundry, maintaining a clean living space, and scheduling their time effectively. These skills are essential for success in college and beyond.
- Accommodations and Support Services:
- If a student has a 504 plan or Individualized Education Program (IEP) in high school, these accommodations should be replicated in college. Parents should work with the college’s accommodations department to ensure their child receives the necessary support, such as extended time on exams or a quiet testing environment.
- Bonnie recommended that parents gather all necessary documentation from high school and meet with the accommodations department well before the school year begins.
- Mental Health Resources:
- Bonnie advised parents to ensure their child has access to mental health professionals, whether through the college or local providers. She also suggested exploring community mental health agencies and support groups, which can offer additional resources and a sense of belonging.
- For students already seeing a therapist or psychiatrist, Bonnie recommended continuing those relationships via telehealth if possible, especially if the student is comfortable with virtual sessions.
- Social and Emotional Well-Being:
- College is not just about academics; social and emotional well-being is equally important. Bonnie encouraged parents to help their child find social outlets, such as clubs, intramural sports, or religious groups, to foster a sense of community and belonging.
- She also highlighted the importance of encouraging students to explore different interests and majors, especially in their first two years of college, when they are taking general education courses.
- Preparing for Independence:
- Bonnie stressed the importance of allowing students to practice independence while still at home. Parents should gradually step back and let their child take responsibility for their own schedule, homework, and self-care.
- If a student is not ready for the full independence of college, Bonnie suggested considering community college or a local university as a stepping stone.
- Legal and Medical Considerations:
- Bonnie recommended that parents and students sign advanced directives for mental health care and power of attorney (POA) documents for both healthcare and mental healthcare. These documents allow parents to communicate with providers and make decisions if their child is unable to do so.
- She also advised parents to ensure their child’s medications are managed effectively, with automatic refills and a plan for renewals.
Practical Strategies for Parents:
- Start Early: Begin planning for college accommodations and mental health supports well before the school year starts. Don’t wait until the last minute to address these needs.
- Build a Support Network: Ensure your child has access to mental health professionals, academic support, and social outlets. Encourage them to connect with RAs, tutors, and other resources on campus.
- Encourage Independence: Gradually step back and allow your child to take responsibility for their own schedule, homework, and self-care. This will help them build the skills they need to succeed in college.
- Stay Connected: While it’s important to encourage independence, parents should remain a supportive presence. Regular check-ins, whether through phone calls or video chats, can help students feel connected and supported.
Q&A Highlights:
- Managing Anxiety in College: Bonnie advised parents to help their child develop self-check strategies for managing anxiety, such as deep breathing, meditation, or exercise. She also recommended that students connect with their RA or other campus resources if they feel overwhelmed.
- Choosing the Right College: Bonnie emphasized that mental health supports should be a consideration when choosing a college, but not the sole factor. Parents should look for schools that offer a balance of academic, social, and mental health resources.
- Supporting from Afar: For parents whose children are attending college far from home, Bonnie suggested using technology like FaceTime or Zoom to stay connected. She also recommended having a list of emergency contacts, including crisis hotlines and local mental health providers, readily available.
- Handling Academic Challenges: Bonnie encouraged parents to let their child take the lead in addressing academic challenges. Instead of stepping in to solve problems, parents should prompt their child to seek help from tutors, advisors, or the accommodations department.
Conclusion:
Bonnie Lane’s presentation provided a comprehensive guide for parents navigating the transition to college with a child who has mental health struggles. By focusing on communication, community, and teamwork, parents can help their child build the skills and support network they need to thrive in college. Bonnie emphasized the importance of preparing early, encouraging independence, and staying connected while allowing students to take the lead in their own journey.
