Does your kid ever come right up to you and say: My mental health is not good? We didn’t think so. While our children aren’t always super talkative about their feelings, they speak volumes with their actions.
Introduction
Jodi Salata, ALMFT, Cutting Edge Counseling of the North Shore, shared the early signs of a child’s mental health struggles and reminded everyone that many young people are experiencing anxiety, depression, and behavioral disorders.
Key Takeaways
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 20% of teenagers between the ages of 13 and 18 live with a mental health condition, and 50% of all lifetime cases of mental illness begin by age 14.
Children who are struggling with their mental health may be experiencing:
- Social phobia: severe feelings of self-consciousness and insecurity in social settings
- ADHD: three types including impulsive and hyperactive behavior where a child can’t sit still; inattentive where kids are often very distracted, forgetful; a combination of both
- Eating disorders: binging, severe calorie restricting and purging
- Autism Spectrum Disorder
Here’s Jodi’s list of warning sign:
- Changes in eating behaviors and/or weight
- Extreme mood swings
- Decline in grades
- Loss of interest in activities and hobbies
- Lack of motivation and/or energy
- Sleep issues
- Withdrawal from family and friends
- Isolating
- Hopelessness language
- Self-medicating
- Lack of personal hygiene
- Excessive worry
- Problems concentrating/confusion
- Inability to carry out daily activities or handle daily problems and stress
- Obsessive about weight or appearance
- Psychosomatic symptoms: Multiple physical ailments without obvious causes (such as headaches, stomach aches, vague and ongoing “aches and pains”)
- Hitting
- Big reactions to small things
- Disrespect
- Aggressive/Violent
- Tantrums
In addition to seeking support from a mental health professional, parents can make a difference in how they interact with their child.
“Create a safe space for your children to come to you with their concerns. And in order to do that, you want to really pay attention to your reaction when your kids bring these things. Kids internalize everything. They think everything’s about them. So if you have big reactions to concerns that they bring to you, it’s going to reduce their desire to come and share things with you. So trying to stay calm and keep a non-reactive response is really important for kids,” Salata said.
Easier said than done, right?
Here are Salata’s suggestions for staying mindful of your actions while connecting with and supporting your child:
- Validate their experiences.
- Stay out of problem-solving mode.
- Don’t pry.
- Listen in order to understand.
- Stay curious, non-judgemental.
- Stay emotionally regulated.
- Ask specific questions.
- Model healthy behaviors.
- Help children regulate their emotions.
- Develop a plan of action.
- Engage them in activities like cooking dinner or going for a walk.
- Offer positive reinforcement: Catch them being good!
- Praise effort not results.
- Make sure they are getting enough sleep & exercise.
- Encourage their healthy relationships.
- Help them build self-efficacy with responsibility for things like chores.
- Give them space to develop problem-solving skills.
- Guide them through adversity. Don’t take over.
- Help them advocate for themselves.
- Develop consequences for actions, prioritize rewards for positive behavior.
Make sure you are okay too! It is challenging to know when to push and when to back off.
One of the best things you can do for yourself and your child is to take care of you and be gentle with yourself.
“I would say first…regulate yourself too, to know that parenting from a calm space is the best place to be and your kids will be much more receptive to anything from that space,” Salata said.
Resources
A recording of this entire presentation is available on the CATCH YouTube Channel.
Read the transcript from this presentation.
Jodi Salata, ALMFT sees parents, teens, kids and adults via telehealth through her work at Cutting Edge Counseling of the North Shore.
